Fantasy time

This is just before I hosted Keynoter TV in a blue wig for our Fantasy Fest show. The ice godess in white is Sandy, and of course Macy just thinks Mom's a weirdo. And she's right. But hey, that's why I make the big bucks. Ha.

Chicks with guns!

We didn't do so bad ourselves, even if none of our fish were 36 inches. The grouper I'm holding is a scamp -- first time I shot one of those. We'll see how he tastes. In this shot, from left to right, it's Jessica, Jessica, Rachel and Rachel. Maybe that's why we had a lucky day.

Big blacks

Here are Keith and Jeff's prizes, shot on a 90-foot ledge at American Shoals off Big Pine Key.

Just hangin' out

Rare moments of peace

Keith must feel like he rode the one-man testicle train into a house of crazy ladies at times. But there are, in between full moons and other alignments of the cosmos that send us into tearful fits for seemingly no reason at all, times when we must seem so sugary sweet we may melt if it rains. This is one of those moments.

Macy does gymnastics at home, too

The girls' new room is tiny, at best, just like our last place, but at $1400 a month for a two-bed, one bath (and our washer and dryer is in the bathroom, which is a first for me!) they can live with it. Claire likes to ask me why she can't have her own room, and I like to reply that as long as I have to share a room, she does too. Then I like to remind her of when she spent the night with the Hale family. They have five kids and all of them live aboard a 38-foot sailboat -- that's two cuddy bedrooms. I'll have to post a photo of them somewhere on here. They sailed off to other islands -- the Turks and Caicos -- a couple months ago.

The mountain

Down our street, the girls discovered a "mountain." Hey, doesn't take much to qualify in the Keys, where the highest point above sea level is about six feet, K? Anyway, it's from years ago when they dug out a canal and left the fill in a pile, which is now overgrown with pines and mangroves. Our new neighborhood is full of fun stuff like this, including a 9-year-old neighbor boy next door, Thomas, who has a swingset. Sugar likes the mountain too.

The front yard

We've only got the top half, the rest is hidden by Oleander. Some guy and his surly teenage daughter live downstairs, but they're moving out at the end of the month. We're hoping we can "recruit" our new neighbors. The people on each side of us are very nice; we can deal with the loud rednecks across the street. They're far enough away (not sharing a wall with us) that they're pretty much just comic relief. It is the Keys after all, you're going to be a stone's throw from drunk, toothless retards no matter where you are.

Our new place

30827 Baileys Lane. Mmm, Baileys. So this is our backyard, where we park the boat. We're on the bayside of the islands now, not the oceanside, so we're finding new fishing spots and all the crab traps you see stacked on the dock can go back in the water today. Stone crab season begins Oct. 15. Mmm, stone crabs.

Gymnastics

Macy takes gymnastics every week at her new preschool, Banana Cabana. She loves it. Here is Miss Jan helping her do a back walkover/headstand.